WHY ?

WHY?

I realize that life may be a nasty transport from birth to death. The lust for life, contrary to popular belief, is not a genetically programmed, fatalistic, predestined functional survival kit to all.  Some are disenchanted by life and living sad and emotionally drab lives without being mentally ill..

The latest findings in Epigenetics  with regards to the  DNA string reveals that it can grow new additional shots, turn on and off entities or information and that what we thought ere almost cloned one egg twins can be different even in the DNA set up from the very beginning or over time.

I find it hard that we, according to silly cliches such as misery and failure are but lessons to learn and what does not kill us makes us stronger are morally obliged to agree to such nonsense. I can assure you, according to my experience working with people in misery, that this possibly is a truth for some, the survivors, but to be candid a small percentage of us. I have seen too much of merciless inhuman abuse and oppression in my life, in times of war, but also in just about every place of work I have been employed in. Abusing power is not a monopoly of war lords and their accomplishes. Adults mobbing each other, backstabbing, negativism, falsity and God knows what else and in addition the omnipresent dishonesty, why even bother to try being decent when life seems to be an endless highway of losses, attacks, criticism, insult and merciless competition ? For what purpose? The survival of the fittest ? Al-Shabaab ? The small percentage of humans who own or control 98 % of the global assets ?  Isis ? The Medellin Cartel ? The expanding differences between those who have too much and those who have nothing ?

Do we graduate cum laude the more losses, illnesses, suffering, emotional and material poverty and abuse we have experienced without ending our lives ?

What is there to learn? Empathy? An altruistic love for our next? Well, we haven´t traveled very far since we chose to call us  Homo Sapiens. Empathy exists. So does altruism. According to the cynical evolutionists only because we can exploit temporary truce and to benefit from it without being caught with our fingers in Grandma´s Lingonberry jar..( Dawkin´s ”The Selfish Gene”, among others ).

We know that a person suffering a very traumatic life seldom develops a noble empathy but, to the contrary, a highly selfish bitterness and envy which seems perfectly reasonable. We do, however, not applaud the stricken´s egotistical behavior, since we simply never have been struck by such traumas of such granditude ourselves and have no idea of how the reactions may manifest themselves..And yes, we have experienced how people in poor  and destitute living conditions seem to be more prone to help each other, explained solely by ”The Selfish Gene”, according to the contemporary evolutionist Dawkins. No good hearts around no matter where we look if we are to believe our "scientists".

I find life a peculiar invention: to me it is a daily struggle because misery in all it´s variations from living in Darfur to a chateau in the Loire Valley accompanies us on our way to....  The degree of misery cannot be measured because it defies mathematics and is subjectively experienced and defined by each and everyone of us. Emotional suffering and grief are without borders whether in a UNHCR tent in Syria or in a Louis XVI imitation armchair in a Manhattan Penthouse . You mean I am in the wrong? How do we know ? Misery is misery although dressed for different occasions and in different conditions.

At Easter, as Christians, we celebrate the resurrection of the Son of God, who sacrifices his life for the good of the rest of us. Somehow I do not really interpret it in any other way than that we maybe not born lousy ( The Sins Of Our Fathers is a most peculiar conception)  but soon grow up to be sinners and evil. Why all this darkness, this suffering, this grief and misery ? Could not the emancipation of man to a good, friendly and loving being be handled otherwise than a Via Dolorosa and an agonizing death on a cross ? I accept it and revere Jesus unselfishness.. I do, however, not really understand it.  Why ??

Why is the history of man for as far back we can find any traces or evidence overshadowed by continuous horrors inflicted on our next ? Animals, with few exception, kill to eat. Not to torture, maim and to prolong suffering. Yes, felines play with their victims. Chimpanzees are vindictive, know how to ambush, attack and murder without hunger being the triggering off reason. But on the whole the animal world, even when using what we will call violence, has a sense of purpose which has directly with survival to do. The genocide of the Armenians, the Chimur, the Holocaust, the Toltecas and so many more had very little with survival to do. “Lebensraum”, a word with some substance after the peace treaty in Versailles, developed into something else.: the megalomaniac idea of a total Germanic Hegemony in a global Third Reich. That is beyond Lebensraum.

Happiness exists. Love flourishes. We know that some love never dies but transcends beyond life and to the beloved we have lost, who we dearly miss and who took part of us with them when they passed on. What is the purpose? Why all this love, affection, mercy and compassion when we ultimately must loose it as we walk the bumpy road of our lives? What is so intellectually and emotionally evolutionary with that ? I have a hard time finding man a particularly sophisticated species in this world.

For all of you who are equipping yourselves with the tiresome cliches of Richard Dawkins, take a breath! He will be a parenthesis in history and science. His deductions rest on analyzing the patterns of misery versus harmony but he has no idea as to why they are there to begin with: in order to be able to precise what is evolutionary wise or the wisdom of evolution, per se? 


And then what? What are his visions ? Is he just confirming what everyone alive has been able to confirm one way or another but maybe without putting it as eloquently into words and is his personal conflict with God, which has gone on for three decades of public interest any longer ? God is dead and Hawkins is alive. Dawkins will die and who will continue the fight of improving our lives be telling us that God is dead?

There are days I truly wish I do not learn anything at all. The wisdom obtained by unhappiness, grief, violence and failure does not impress me. I would, without hubris, like to have a discussion about why we are created to feel frightened, arrogant, grieving, deceived, feeling useless and confused, no matter our own explanation models and ideologies. Stripped down we are very alike whatever we chose to call us.

And, the paradox of feeling loved, cared for, safe, appreciated, important, loving beings with the capacity for unconditional love as our fellow species in flora and fauna. Yes, I dare say fauna. We know so, so little about that even if we are rapidly on our way to change the living conditions dangerously...

My Mother died at the age of 95 and I have no rational reason to miss her like crazy. Biologically she lived to a high age and was reasonably fit until the last year. Being trained to be rational in the Occidental sense it is regarded as highly irrational, immature and maybe even pathological to miss her so much nine years after her passing. The Swedish National Social Board has determined a specific, limited time for emotional grief and if you still continue you are regarded as psychologically ill and in need of chemicals prescribed by a psychiatrist, principally so that you can return to work and live up to the socio economical expectations in service for the good of society except for one small thing: there virtually are no jobs to be find in Scandinavia.

My Mother´s dead was followed by the passing on by the persons; family, relatives and friends, most dear to me. One per year. What lesson is to be learned? The forces of the Multiverse seem to have had a short circuit or a collapse in the vibrations. As in the case of all the ongoing atrocities globally with fratricide, unimaginable violence versus children and the most vulnerable in the name of whatever divinity or political ideology, floodings, droughts, epidemics and God knows what else.

Why?

Maybe because without it we would never had understood and genuinely felt what love is. Tough pedagogic...

Do I have any hopes left ? Yes ! Maybe that is what disturbs me. Or what makes us human...

Just a thought...

Douglas